I invite you to join me as we pray. As I thought about beginning this series on forgiveness, I have been overcome by the shooting that took place in Orlando as well as the reminder that it has been 1 year since the shooting took place at the church in South Carolina. Both of these experiences have brought me to a place of sadness, fear, disgust?it bothers me greatly that people are murdered because of who and how God created them to be, whether that is from the color of their skin to the whom they love or their nationality. This past week has reminded me that there is so much hatred in our world and that we all are in need of intimately knowing a loving and forgiving God. Now, I could continue to share the stories of forgiveness that the families have given to the men who have caused so much pain and talk about how and why they have been able to forgive. Or how hard it is to forgive people who commit such heinous crimes. But for me, it is important to acknowledge the fact that our community and our world is hurting and broken, and it will continue to hurt and break. And as Christians and members and friends of this faith community, we need to determine what our role is going to be in sharing the love of God with all of God?s children.

With beginning a series on forgiveness today, I am overwhelmed with the timing of this series because of what I have just mentioned. Your timing is amazing and I give thanks to God that this is something about faith that many you of wanted to talk about. Just so you know, the bible says a whole lot about forgiveness. I did a Google search and found 100 verses in the Old and New Testament about forgiveness, then I found 55 verses on forgiving others, and numerous verses that imply the importance of forgiving yourself. I will link these passages in a word document on the Facebook page and will also ask the web designer to put something on the website. I knew I could continue to do many searches and find more stories in scripture connected to forgiveness. But I decided to focus in on a story instead of highlighting different scripture passages. I like stories in the bible that paint a picture and this one has always been pretty significant in my life. It is the story of the Prodigal Son from Luke 15. This story is about a son who asked for his inheritance-meaning he wished his father dead, left for another country, spent all his inherited money, then he started working for someone else, realized the slaves were taken better care by his father, and he decided to go home to his father. Once home, his father welcomed him home, embraced him, and threw a party, while the older son was jealous and resentful towards his brother because of how his brother acted and displeased that his father would welcome him back so easily.

So over the course of these three weeks, we are going to look at forgiveness through these three characters-the younger son, the older son, and the father. Today, we begin with the older son. And I am going to ask us each week to put ourselves in the shoes of the different people in the painting.

So, I attended a conference about 17 years ago when I first had an encounter with the story of the Prodigal Son and Rembrandts? painting ?The Return of the Prodigal Son.? As we went through this story during worship, we engaged the story through the painting. This experience through Scripture and art changed how I looked at this story in the bible. It has also forever given me a greater ability to forgive myself and others, and more importantly to receive forgiveness from God. So I hope you will indulge me as we walk through forgiveness by using this painting and story from scripture. You have a picture of the painting on the front of your bulletin as well as on the screen. In the painting, you see the younger brother kneeling before the father, the father embracing the younger son, and the brother off to the side of the painting, looking down at his father and brother. Each week, we are going to picture ourselves as a different character in the painting. Today, we are the older brother in the painting. We are the ones who have stayed faithfully by our father?s side, we have worked hard, we have done what is asked of us, we have not been disobedient or done anything that would hurt our family, and we have always been present. Yet, there is a tension and a frustration that is present. In the painting, there is distance between them, one that has been building for years. As I look at the younger man in the painting, I wonder what has happened? What is going on inside of him? What is he going to do? Will he come close and embrace his brother as his father did, or will he walk away in anger and disgust? Then I realize that although the older brother did everything that he thought he was suppose to do, he also wandered away from his father. He did his duty, worked hard every day, and fulfilled all of his obligations but became increasingly unhappy and unfree. And I look at the older son, and I realize I see myself in him. Can any of you put yourself there?

There have been times when I have become lost in his bitterness, resentment, anger, frustration, hatred, obedience, and disappointment. I am the older child in my family, the one who was obedient and dutiful, the one who allowed responsibility to become a burden and I have become enslaved by being the older child. In thinking about all of this, those of us who are the older responsible children, might have become lost without ever running away. And typically, it is harder for us to realize that we are lost and it ends up damaging our hearts and creating walls in our relationships with other people. Henri Nouwen says, ?The lostness of the older son, is harder to identify because he did all the right things. He was obedient, dutiful, law-abiding, and hardworking. People respected him, admired him, praised him, and likely considered him the model son. Outwardly, he was faultless. But when confronted by his father?s joy at the return of his younger brother, a dark power erupts in him and boils to the surface. Suddenly, there becomes glaringly visible a resentment, proud, unkind, selfish person, one that has remained deeply hidden, even through it had been growing stronger and more powerful over the years (pg 71 The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen).?

When we heard the words in Luke when the older son attacks his father?self righteous, self-pitying, jealous words?I hear a deeper complaint. It is the complaint that comes from a heart that feels it never received what it is due. It the place where many of us get too?I have tried so hard, worked so long, did so much and still I have not received what others get so easily. It is the ?I have done all of this and I have not received love from you the way I needed to receive it.? Because of his resentment and disappointment, the older son is not able to participate in the joy that is happening with the return of his brother. ?You see, joy and resentment cannot coexist. ?Where there is bitterness, resentment, anger, frustration, hatred, obedience, and disappointment, it is hard to be in a place to receive unconditional love from anyone.

As you reflect in your seat on being the older son, I invite you to close your eyes and picture yourself standing there looking at the younger son who is being embraced by your father, what do you realize about yourself?? What feelings go through you as you put yourself in his shoes? Can you name those feelings? Once you leave worship, take a few minutes and write those words down for you to reflect on this week. Because being able to name the feelings and emotions that cause you unrest and lostness are the first steps to being forgiven and seeking forgiveness.

The father loves both of his sons. He runs out to meet both of them. He wants both to sit at this table and participate in his joy. The younger son allows himself to be held in a forgiving embrace. But the older son stands back, looks at his father?s merciful gesture, and cannot yet step over his anger and let his father heal him as well. The older son needs to come to a place to recognize he needs to forgive and receive forgiveness. Yet, he is holding on to so much baggage that he cannot accept being welcomed and embraced by the father.

As we move into this week, I would like to encourage you to think about the ways that you feel you have been wronged in your life. The times that you have felt lost and wondered and in the darkness instead of in the light, where you have asked where is your father, where is God? In the passage, the older sons names the times where he has felt lost and abandoned, yet there is a deeper yearning that we also heard in the passage. As you reflect this week, my questions for you are where are you lost? Where do you need to seek forgiveness? Where do you need to be forgiven? What are the places in your where you have become lost in bitterness, resentment, anger, frustration, hatred, obedience, and disappointment? Can you imagine what life would look like if you were free from these complaints, free from anger, resentment, and jealousies? The reminder in this passage for all of us who have felt like the older son is to know that we all have a response. We are left with the choice of listening to the father or of remaining imprisoned in our self-rejection. Forgiveness of self and others is the beginning of the way home. Because the father, our God is waiting for us with arms wide open and ready to embrace us. It?s up to us to close the gap and tension that is between us. Amen.